Do you want me?
Not sure how to answer that question, huh? Well, let me help you. Unless your answer is an unadulterated no, you should sign up for my newsletter. In return for offering me a bit of space in your email inbox now and then, I shall regale you with free stories, pompous comments, and even the occasional knowing glance. Sure, as an emailed newsletter, my peculiar stares and twitchy smiles will be virtual in nature, but really will that make them any less unsettling? Will you not feel my cold touch when delving into a particularly dark tale? Will you not imagine my bourbon coated voice when reading one of my comments?
Settle into my den, put up your feet, tinkle the ice in your cocktail, and indulge free tales of horror, science fiction, fantasy, or adventure.
While waiting for my bartender to top off your gin rickey, peruse my latest take on films, books, and the sporting life.
When you are five or six sheets to the wind, imagine that my newsletter is a wicked smile from across the den.