A few nights ago I had a vivid dream which has stayed with me. These are the details.
I am seated in the front pew by the middle aisle of a small chapel. The walls are painted bordello red. There are stained glass windows with images of snakes intertwined under a golden sun. Each of the snakes has a halo over his head. There is the same Latin script on each of the stained glass windows: “Factum fieri infectum non potest.”
There are a handful of parishioners in the pews. I cannot see them directly, but I can see that they are trembling in expectation of a verbal lashing.
At the front of the chapel is a small altar table. It is lit by a tabernacle candle as bright as a spotlight, though there is no tabernacle in view. A heavyset priest stands on the other side of the altar table facing the parishioners. He looks like Paul Blart from “Mall Cop.” Instead of a traditional chasuble, he is wearing an ornamented black kimono which is open down the middle of his torso. Because his kimono is open, we can see his chest hairs and his blubbery belly whenever he lifts his arms to his side. He wears over his head a traditional gyoji’s black eboshi hat. His pudgy, mustached face is animated with anger as he practically spits out his condemnation.
The priest is angry that we parishioners are screwing up when we recite the following words after the Elevation of the Eucharist: “Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof, but speak the word only and my soul shall be healed.” He steps around the altar and stands closer to us in the aisle. He lifts his arms to the side, and he demands that we recite this line word for word after him. As we struggle to do so, the priest’s face gets redder, and his eyes appear darker and more serpentine. He closes his hands into fists, and he shakes his arms erratically, because we are unable to recite the words properly after him. He repeats the line over and over again. Eventually, he is so consumed with anger that he is a blur of indignation and his words are indecipherable.
Dang you’re just cranking your posts out! Is this your full time job?
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I wish it was my full time job. I love to write. Today, I have time in the afternoon to write a bit more than normal. Most days I do the most I can in the early morning hours before setting out for work.
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Well why isn’t it your full time job
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I do not have a literary agent. Unless and until I do, I cannot get a traditional publisher to put out a book of my stories or poems. I have self-published books in the past, but I have not been able to spend the marketing money that is necessary to get enough buyers to make a living. Hopefully, someday, I shall figure out how to get a literary agent. If and when that happens, then I shall focus on writing for a living.
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How many books have you self published? Where can I find them
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I have self-published eight books – seven novels and one anthology of short stories. I have posted all of my novels and short stories on my blog. You may find them here:
https://michaelseanerickson.com/stories/
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Why don’t you sell them
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For several years my books were available to be purchased on amazon.com and also on barnesandnoble.com. Each book cost me a few hundred dollars to format, to copyright, and to list with the two online booksellers. I made less than fifty dollars total from all the books during those years. Because I sold so few books, I had almost no readers, which for me frankly was worse than the financial loss. Stories really do not come alive unless and until they are read. For a few years I had one dedicated fan who purchased and reviewed each of my books. After a while I sent him a free copy whenever I self-published a book just because I knew he would publish a well written review on Amazon. When he was no longer interested or available to read my last book, “Marry the Witch,” I lost even that one reviewer. Several months ago, when I set up my blog, I decided to make all of my books available there for free. I would rather have a few people read my works for free than have no one read them. I learned my lesson: Self-publishing is a waste of time unless one has enough money to pursue an aggressive and long term online marketing campaign. The reason is that people do not want to invest money, and even more so time, in purchasing and reading a book by an unknown writer. I do not blame them. When I am in the mood to read a horror novel, I go online and purchase the latest Stephen King work. I purchase his work because I am a fan and know already it will be a quality piece worthy of my time. Since I do not have the funds on hand to pay for a marketing campaign, which is meant to offset the fact that I do not yet have a marketable reputation, I realistically cannot hope to sell any books unless and until I am picked up by a traditional publisher.
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Damn. But if they were already on Amazon and such, why not keep them on there? Or does it cost something to keep them up there?
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My books are still available on amazon.com and on barnesandnoble.com. I also have the manuscripts available for free on my blog.
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